Saturday, January 2, 2010

The Elaborate Conspiracy Between Sprint and an Ex-Lover to Get Me to Switch to an Unlimited Text Messaging Plan

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Eyewitness accounts at the Whirlaway Lounge confirm that he is still jobless and reading 400-page psychological thrillers.

Content of the Index Cards Masking-Taped to Our New Year's Resolution Wall

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The Colt 45 is still half-full. I should probably take that one down.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Cessation of Angst and Commencement of Ennui, By Age and Milestone

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This is as close as I come to a decade-in-review. As much as I'd like to believe I've been a fully-formed individual since being calipered from the womb. Notice, even, the subconscious shift in narration.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

The Two-Year Diversification of Sexual Partners By Origination Venue

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My inner social media influencer was really classin' it up this year.

How to Beat My Family at Apples to Apples

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What I learned over Christmas vacation. No, really. It doesn't matter what the adjective is.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

I make no claims,

but I hope to fill a niche as a whiskey-fueled, culture-depleted, narcissistic, non-user generated, mostly hand-scrawled, exclusively hot mess and unauthorized kid sister to the likes of GraphJam, Nate Silver, an undergraduate sociology textbook, Vickie Miner's diary and Leonardo DaVinci. My unapologetic neuroses and amateur data lust should explain why we here at (GF) are seldom somebody's GF. Carry on.