Friday, April 10, 2015

March Madness' Non-Trademarked Cousin, March Foolishness: The Road to the Most Awful Portmanteau in America [Round of 32 and Sweet 16 Results]


Since we're trailing a certain national contest of a similar name by about three weeks, I'm going to present Round of 32 results without commentary.



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Now those remaining (Sweet) 16 teams went a little something like this.




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Drinkcessorize (1) out-squirted GoGurt (12) and chronic upsetter P'Zone (15) out-baked Funfetti (14), which means McDonald's will square off against Pizza Hut in a Goliath vs. Goliath matchup to seal the Ridiculous Foods (Midwestern) Conference. The sheer offensiveness of momtrepreneur (1) has effortlessly taken it to the Elite Eight, while 
misleading sales pitch freemium (6) bests the vexing but self-contained Twitterverse (2). In the Insufferable Pop Culture (Western) Conference, nobody could have predicted that mansplaining (13) and its meme-worthy momentum would knock off top-seeded affluenza (1). At no surprise, feminazi (2) crushed Brangelina (11) with the highest point margin, as people realized that, sure, celebrity couple portmanteux are annoying, but at least those two, you know, donate their money to charity and stuff. Swapportunities (1) finally dismissed the on-a-lark Metsmerized (12) and snowmaggedon (3) just squeaked by Spanglish (2).

Which gives us our Elite Eight.


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To vote in the Elite Eight, please fill out this survey by 10 a.m. CT on Monday, April 13.