Monday, March 1, 2010

Nobody Likes Me: A Three-Year Study of the Corporate Birthday Card

(click to enlarge)

I've worked in the same department of the same company for the past three birthdays, and this year's supervisory role brings record lows in the number of people signing my card and the number of people who provide a personalized greeting (that is, some type of inside joke).

Further, the Exclamation Point Per Capita tally is at a sky-high 1.5, which is an irrefutable marker of co-worker disingenuousness and overcompensation, if not flagging morale.


In other words, my subordinates hate me.