Sunday, January 24, 2010

How I Spent $4589.67 on Booze in a Year (Or, Providing My Stalker With the Blueprint to Buy Me a Drink Before Dismembering)


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Data is limited to Chicago bars or liquor stores visited more than once in 2009, where I paid by debit card, with the exception of the Whirlaway Lounge. My approximation for this cash-only establishment represents the minimum dollar amount I likely spent, per habitual drinking trends and local ATM receipts.


Most disturbing is that this list does not account for drinks purchased for me by old men, drinks purchased with cash, drinks purchased at music venues or festivals, drinks purchased at highly visited venues (such as Helen's Two Way Lounge or Quenchers) and the fact that I was dry for the entire month of November. The $4589.67 represents roughly 15 percent of my gross annual income.


1) Whirlaway Lounge ($1018.00)

2) Keenan O'Reilly's ($516.25)

3) Foremost Liquors ($384.27)

4) InnJoy ($256.40)

5) Silver Cloud ($158.12)

6) Small Bar ($157.70)

7) Five Star Bar ($125.00)

8) Cleo's on Armitage ($118.50)

9) Rocking Horse ($109.65)

10) The Map Room ($108.00)

11) Moneil Liquors ($104.88)

12) Streetside Bar and Grill ($102.62)
13) Chili's, River North ($92.73)

14) Polonia Liquors ($87.12)

15) Riverview Tavern ($85.00)

16) Salud Tequila Lounge ($83.50)

17) Joey's Brickhouse ($80.00)

18) Bon Song Liquors ($73.12)

19) Tuman's Restaurant ($64.50)

20) Bowman's Bar and Grill ($63.00)

21) Ginger's Ale House ($62.50)

22) Finley Dunne's Tavern ($62.00)

23) Innertown Pub ($60.00)

24) Weegee's Lounge ($55.00)

25) Handlebar ($54.86)

26) Fine Food and Liquors ($54.59)

27) Bennigan's ($53.52)

28) Piece Brewery ($45.88)
29) Delilah's ($42.50)

30) Four Treys Tavern ($42.00); Green Eye Lounge ($42.00)

32) Cullen's Bar and Grill ($40.00)

33) Houston Liquors ($32.00)

34) Dorothy's Liquors ($31.38)

35) Brando's Speakeasy ($24.00)

36) Wrigley Field ($23.75)

37) Sheffield's ($21.36)

38) Dunlay's on the Square ($17.23)

39) Boriken Food and Liquor ($15.41)

40) Logan Liquors ($12.32)

41) M&W Food and Liquors ($9.01)

A Rather Delicious Inevitable Conclusion, Part II

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The keg stand competition will be divided by age group. I can't wait to request "Spanish Bombs."